i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
