Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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