Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
