I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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