honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize