i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
