don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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