he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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