i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
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