i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
its not stalking. its research.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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