My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
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