you're like a bully in the Christmas story
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Randomize
