Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Can Purell be used as lube?
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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