i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
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