Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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