So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Randomize
