He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize
