He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
