I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Randomize
