There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
