Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
How does one acquire holy water?
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
