Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
