put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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