Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Randomize
