There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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