I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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