Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Randomize
