just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Who died my cat blue again?
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
