4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
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