After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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