So drunk, too bad you don't want this
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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