Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
