I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
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