did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
