is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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