even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
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