shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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