turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Randomize
