Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
it was like having sex with a tree stump
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
When did angry sex become our thing?
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
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