I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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