Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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