oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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