**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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