What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Randomize
