If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
