I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Randomize
