**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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