At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
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