No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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