using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
we made out on top of his cat.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
