i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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