Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Randomize
