Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
And then my night got REAL pukey
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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