i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize