Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
