Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
they need to just BURY HIM!
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Randomize