Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
