she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Randomize
