Where is the hickey?
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
