Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
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