Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
