The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
