Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
