remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Randomize
