Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
