you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Randomize
